A while back I wrote about how I sometimes feel giddy
anticipation right before a planned bike ride. As one reader commented, it’s
been the opposite for him. A ride for him has often been a good cure for a
dreary mindset. Instead of starting off in upbeat mode, he pedals out in a
mental funk, which from him and many others, often yields to an expanded,
refreshed mind. I’ve heard others say they’ve found a long bike ride to be a
great cure for a hangover. The re-oxygenizing of their alcohol-soaked brain cells
brings them back to a feel-good mindset.
So sure, a ride can stoke us into happy feelings whether we
start out excited, depressed or hung over. I started out depressed on a recent
ride and as I rode, let any thoughts that came up just pass through without any
articulation. This blank mind riding helped me get into a nice pedaling cadence
as I drafted behind a strong rider for the first few miles. I started to
distance my mind from the funky, gloomy gremlins that had dominated thoughts
pre-ride and wave in refreshed spirits.
I tried blank mind riding on the next ride without listening
to any music, as I usually do. That let me tune into the sound and feel of my
breathing as I rode. But while trying to get all guru-meditator-like, I was
distracted by an annoying and painful nutsack pinch for several miles. It took
a few miles of tugging and pulling on my shorts, and happily that pain
eventually went away. Then on an uphill sprint I do regularly for conditioning,
I felt my lower back muscles tighten. Because I’ve had a history of dealing
with back spasms, this familiar pre-muscle spasm feeling makes me slow down. Because
I know it’s a foreboding sign. It’s a message from my lower back muscles, and
they’re telling me this: “Don’t push it bro, or we’re gonna seize up, and you
know what that means…PAIN. As in, too much pain to ride the bike pain.”
So with that message
received loud and clear, I pretty much lost the drive to ride at a fast pace
for the rest of the ride. When physical pain like that shows itself, a bunker mentality
of anguish creeps in, since now it’s no longer a ride to work out, it’s a ride
to make it back home without getting a back spasm.
While mental suffering from feeling low down, depressed or
hung over on the bike can usually be washed away with a vigorous leg and lung
workout on the bike, there’s also the realm of physical suffering on a ride.
To me, there are two types of physical suffering, one from
extreme exertion, and the other from actual physical pain.
When I hit the wall on bike from riding hard for a lot of
miles, keeping any kind of blank mind, meditative state becomes a serious test
of keeping focused. I always know when I hit that threshold: I do an occasional
big sigh, or worse, an involuntary groan of anguish. When I hear myself groan,
it’s plain that all I want to do is one thing: Ride as fast as possible so I’ll
be home sooner, where the suffering stops and I can get off the bike. And rest.
I don’t want to stop and rest for one reason. It’ll be that much longer before
I’m done riding in suffer-mode for the day.
Then there’s the suffering from feeling sharp physical pain,
and that does one thing to me: Drains the power from a ride, slows me down.
Like the distraction of the above-mentioned nutsack pinch,
or a leg cramp, or suddenly tight back muscles that are promising to spasm, the
physical pain inhibits the ability to ride the strong pace you would without
them.
Mental pain, physical pain, suffering. It comes and goes on
the bike. But when we can hang in there in the face of it, persevere and
ultimately master it on a ride, there’s a reward: It’s a feeling of hard earned
accomplishment, a satisfaction that keeps us coming back for more. And we do. Even
though we know the price is none other than suffering.
Til next time, remember to strap on a helmet every time you
get on the bike. Then remember to keep the rubber side down, ride safely, and
most of all, have a blast.
-- Mark Eric Larson
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